Friday, January 28, 2011

THE CAT WHO TAUGHT ME NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE
By Saralee Perel

There was a slight movement between two pillows in the kitten cage at our local animal shelter. That's where I found Eddie. He was on his back trying to get some sleep "in this lousy joint" as I imagined an independent cat like him would say. He was a plain gray tabby, as common as a housefly.
"He's the one," I said to my husband Bob. Eddie swaggered to the food bowl, pushing four kittens out of the way.
"He's so ratty looking," Bob said, picking him up. "He only has one whisker." Eddie tenderly pressed his face against mine, then put his sharp baby teeth around my gold earring and yanked with the strength of a sumo wrestler.
That first night home, he was restless. I sang a raucous song from "Oliver" as a soft, slow ballad. "Food, glorious food, hot sausage and mustard." He closed his eyes and purred. From then on, that song always soothed him.
Eddie got up before we did. I knew that from the sound of breaking glass. We found him on the mantel where a glass plate used to be. The floor was covered with shards. He quickly put his paw behind a blue china vase and chucked that off the mantel, too. I felt bad. But that didn't last. Things are just things. Our pets are family.
When we'd watch TV in bed, he'd scratch us for attention. Eventually I learned that there are times when family is more important than TV. And when are those times? Always.
Eddie opened cabinets by putting his paws around the knobs and pulling. Vitamin bottles made great rattling noises on crash landings. First we tried child-proof magnets. Eddie simply tugged a little harder. Next: hook and eye locks. Eddie flipped the hooks open. Next: deadbolt locks. He slid the bolts to the side.The guy at the hardware store already had combination locks on the counter.
       Every morning, we woke to blaring traffic reports. That's because Eddie turned on the clock radio. Yes, we tried moving the radio. He'd find it. Yes, we tried covering it with books. He'd just shove all the books off. We got rid of the clock radio. What else could we do with a cat like Eddie? (I heard that!)
Eddie saw obstacles as challenges. When barriers thwarted him, he never quit trying. "Can't" was not in his feline vocabulary.
For two years, Eddie has been sick. His medicine caused one side effect--as I gently rubbed his face, all of his whiskers came off in my hands, except for one.
He came into our lives with one whisker. And that is how he left. Three months ago, on a quiet Sunday afternoon, I kissed his forehead and whispered, "I love you." He looked up at me. His face showed the love he was never successful at hiding.
As Bob softly sang, "Food, glorious food, hot sausage and mustard," Eddie took his last breath. While his body was still warm, I cradled him in my arms and rocked him. I held his head so he was nestled against my neck. "Eddie," I said, sobbing. "You will always be a part of me." I didn't want to let him go from my arms. But Bob, so lovingly and slowly, gently took him away.
And so, I honor the life and the lessons of my wonderful cat who, from the beginning, stood apart from all the others. My beautiful cat, my Eddie, just a plain gray tabby, as common as a housefly.

(For more of the Award-winning Author and Nationally Syndicated Columnist Saralee Perel go to http://www.saraleeperel.com)

Friday, January 14, 2011

God Was Present Today

Today at my hospital was so meaningful and incredible.


Baptist Health-North Little Rock, AR


I watched a dynamite team of nursing educators orchestrate an appreciation luncheon for our Nursing Associates (NA) and Information Associates (IA) at Baptist Health-NLR. Approximately 85 people attended, including administration, supervisors, directors, nursing shift supervisors . . . and one chaplain. The tables were elaborately decorated with Scripture place mats, Scripture name plates, flowers, and miniature sheep.

As we all ate a fabulous plated lunch at white-clothed tables, one of the team's nursing educators gave a devotional full of God's love and the hospital's appreciation for our NAs and IAs,  Tears welled up in my eyes as I took in that wonderful devotional. Then a crazy, creative, laughter-filled video was shown full of more appreciation for the NAs and IAs.

 At the end I had the group get up and clump together and then had the management and administration surround them--all holding hands. I tried to pray a prayer of blessing for our wonderful NAs and IAs, but I continually got choked up because the presence of God was there in our midst . . . moving among us and within us.

Thanks to that educator nursing team, and thanks be to God for such a day of delight, blessing, and renewal. God is at work at Baptist Health-NLR and within me.
Thank You, O Lord.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Re-Post of "Phases of the Moon"


I wrote and posted this blog around Christmas . . . and then later got chicken about it and took it down. A blogging friend of mine somewhat chastised me for taking this blog down. She reminded me that we must be honest—even when our guts are spilling out for all to see.  So now I've re-posting this gut-spilt blog. 
All of you (the one or two) who like guts, here ‘tis.


Brad, my 12-year younger brother,

My "baby" brother
and I are searching for our "new normal" 
regarding Thanksgiving
and Christmas holidays.

We live 10 hours apart.
He in Maryville, TN  (pronounced by the locals as “Mar-vul”)
and I in NLR, AR.

We used to meet in the middle—
the middle being HOME in Nashville, TN where we both grew up.
Our mom welcomed us at the door.
Her home cooking was one of her ways
to celebrate us coming home.
He and I loved visiting with each other when we converged upon Mom and home and good cookin'.

But one year after our mom died, we learned 
going home for the holidays will be no more.

Going home changed on Christmas night 2009 when our step-father said he just wasn't interest in doing the holidays with us anymore
now that our mom is gone.

He told my brother last year
the morning after Christmas—

“Now that your mother is gone,
there’s a new sheriff in town
and things are going to be different.”

And so without Brad and I doing reactionary things like
demonstrations on the front lawn
or tires being slit
or cherry bombs thrown
at my step-father's bedroom windows
or editorials being written up in the paper,
we quietly walked away. 

For me, finding a new normal doesn’t happen easily. Life as I ALWAYS knew it will now
NEVER be the same again.
Finding a new normal feels messy . . . emotional . . . fearful . . . lonely . . . hopeful . . .
feels like the phases of a moon becoming full.

Maybe that's the way it will be. Finding a new normal
may be like the new moon
going through its eight stages
on its way to becoming "whole."

Tonight there is an iridescent full moon out my window.




 It has a haze around it making it all that more mysterious and awesome this evening.

I guess finding a new normal
is like the first sliver of a moon.

Sliver by sliver, the moon adds throughout the month
until it’s complete, total, beautiful, whole. 
But it gets there
in stages,
in slivers,
in darkness,
with some nights clear,
some nights cloudy,
some nights full of rain,
some nights cold or humid or hot,
and some nights just right.

The moon teaches me my new normal
will probably mature through
progressive phases and stages
when times seem the darkest.

My and Brad’s new normal won’t come
fast,
instantly,
or always smoothly.

Finding and understanding our new normal
will be at times messy,
At times crazy,
At times a bad idea
At times a good idea
At times tiring
At times inspiring.

May the One who made the moon and all its stages guide and direct a sister and a brother as they grapple with the phases and stages of holidays, family time, sacrifice, allegiance,
forgiveness,
and love
in their new normal.
Amen.
*******
A Christmas Afterword . . .
Today is December 25, 8:30 AM. Instead of going to Maryville, TN, I stayed in Arkansas b/c of the snow and sleet that has now fallen up and down interstate 40E. It has been difficult walking through Christmas w/o family, but there have been life-giving blessings: dear friends calling and emailing to check on me (even one family insisting that I join them in Oklahoma for Christmas), going to the Christmas Eve service at my church, going to the home of the L's and their friends for supper afterwards, eating lunch on Christmas Eve with a 90-year-old friend, and, of course, having Zach the Cat with me (our first Christmas together where I didn't have to put him in "cat jail.")

The outpouring of love and care is healing, renewing, and has the touch of God in it all.

What about my step-father? An elderly friend from Nashville called me this morning and said, "I guess he did not invite you to the house for Christmas since you are not here this Christmas." He did not. He stuck to his guns. It is truly over regarding me going back to the house where my mom's things still decorate the place. 

Regarding my step-father, I am grateful for the absence of animosity in my heart. I am grateful that I do not entertain ways to "get back" at him. I am grateful for God's continued healing and guidance in my soul and heart. And I am grateful that he and I have had several meals together within the last year when I have been in Nashville to visit friends and my grandmother.

But my "anonymous writer" (see below) has a point which got my attention. I must admit, I do have room for more forgiveness in my heart towards my step-father. And I do have need for more hope, faith, and joy for my future.
I would have NEVER DREAMED I would have been sitting in front of my computer typing on my blog . . . alone . . . on Christmas morning. And so this Christmas, let the (additional) forgiveness, faithing, hoping and healing begin. Like Mary the mother of Jesus, may I have faith and trust in the Lord for all He has prepared and planned for my life. And may I give birth to Christ in my heart anew and afresh this Christmas and forever more. Amen.
Comment:
Anonymous said...

Oh, dear, it seems that this Christmas you and your brother have also found no room at the inn!

Even though it's not the kind of Christmas any of us would like, it seems that God is giving you a chance, by forgiving this man, to give birth to Christ in your heart, just as Mary bore Christ in her body that first Christmas day.

You have a chance to give a special gift to God this Christmas by forgiving this person. (And the more he has hurt you the greater the gift is to God.)

I am so sorry for your pain. I had a very similar kind of my own once. I will pray for you! Merry Christmas to you and your brother and may you have a blessed new year as well. Pax Christi!