A Tear and a Smile


Everything is fast and loud and busy and full.

Except when I pause

And admire the amber light of dusk--your favorite time of day--

or

Enjoy the first little decorative Christmas trees for sale in our gift shop that I know you would be tempted to buy 

or

Run my fingers over the little diamonds in your gold cross necklace that you never took off from around your neck
or

Drop away into an imagined conversation of what I’d say if we could talk on the

phone while I drive home from work
or

Snap awake again to the steel-cold reality of my life and heart reshaping
from the inside out
and from the outside in
after you died.

I go at a fast pace a lot, enjoying the thrill of ministry connectiveness, problem solving, and being used in healing moments.

The mixture of
work and busyness, 

loss and grief, 

reinvention and spiritual renewal, 

and the sheer fact of missing you 

and missing our family togetherness 
is so vividly present during this season.

No matter. . .
I smile and am grateful to God so very often
because you happened.

I love you, Mommie.

Quote from Dr. Seuss:

“Don't cry because it's over,

smile because it happened.”



Remembering my beloved "Mommie" 12/7/1935--11/24/2008



"You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."  --Psalm 139:13